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Cop and drunkard
A cop is waiting across the street from a bar parking lot late on a Saturday
night, watching for drunks trying to drive home. After a short wait, one
particularly sad case stumbles out the door, front of his shirt soaked,
bleary-eyed, confused, wandering the parking lot looking for his car. He
locates his car, fumbles for his keys, gets in (bumping his head in the
process) and drives off, bumping the curb on the way. Of course he doesn't get
very far at all before the cop is on him, and he immediately pulls over. The
cop has him step out of the car, sizes him up, and administers several field
sobriety tests, with much effort (the driver has trouble understanding some of
the tests). The driver fails all the tests miserably: can't touch his nose,
can't walk straight, can't stand on one foot, can't recite a speedy alphabet.
The final legal step, of course, is the breathalyzer, so the cop asks his
subject to blow into the tube. Green light. In disbelief, the cop checks the
breathalyzer and has the suspect try again. Another green light -- the guy's
blood-alcohol level is legal. "Alright," says the cop, "how can you pass a
breath test when you're so obviously falling-down drunk?" "Well, it's like
this," replies the guy. "I'm the designated decoy."
*****
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